By hbreen19

Here I Am, Its Been Awhile.

Its been awhile since I have posted. I'm still here smoke free, i'm not as psyco anymore as I was when I first quit. No where not going to ask my husband if this is true were just going to go with it okay? Honestly I can't believe I have made it this far, I mean I can but where time just drug on, its not dragging anymore. I'm not popping reeses cups and other crap to surpass the cravings. I don't get them as much, I have had my days hell even moments, but it passed. Atleast once a week, I tend to get this craving so bad, my mouth literately waters, and I swear in my mind I could throw it all away that instant weather I want to or not. I don't, and I wont I fight through it because well I don't want to throw it away. I have intense fear of having to do this over again, but I want to smoke at times. Its weird and as totally crazy as it sounds because here I am still smoke free, fighting with the masses going F U Cigarettes, I don't want you which is why I put you down. Cause your a toxic relationship, lets not get started on those I still do things I normally did,like sit in boredom now with out cigarettes.I have realized my sense of smell is a wonderful curse. Its wonderful but a damn curse.For the life of me I do not understand why people didn't tell me I stunk. I can't even go into a grocery store wit out smelling someones funk a mile away, cigarettes and all. I don't understand why there are so many inconsiderate smokers. You know the ones who stand at the Enterance/Exits of every place known to man inhailing and hacking away. The ones who stand so close and don't give a damn like you willing want to share in there chemicals. This man at the library as I am standing out side, sat on the curb with a Roller, Tobacco, Tubes pulled right out of his back back rolled it right there and lit away I pity him.I Also don't want to smell alot of what I didn't notice before. Flavor.. my goodness flavor who knew so many things tasted like complete shit, layers of flavor of pure disgust. Then other things are so damn good you want it until you explode. Which for the record I am surprised I have not exploded yet. 

Note to self don't buy a scale, your pants shrunk in the dryer.