By hbreen19

Day One Of Quitting Smoking.

I initially had my first Quit day as 07/02/16. I am on chantix day 6, I decided to give it a whirl today. I woke up and honestly I didn't even want a cigarette. I got my morning snack a tall glass of water and chugged that chantix. I prayed and sewed to keep my mind off my cravings. I blasted music and sang along as tone deaf as I am just to fight back. Those smokes were laying there next to a nice clean ash tray all day and paid them no mind.  I felt like a crazy person , its was like adrenaline pumping. Then my phone rang my husband said he was coming home early from work, I shared my progress he shared his ( he had had 3 at this point). He came home he went outside, I followed we were talking, bad move because he lit up my phone rang, I'm then talking on the phone and boom before I know it with out  missing a beat , realizing what I am going i lit a cigarette. I was pissed at my self , I don't honestly know what came over me. I immediately put it out fast forward dinner time fast approaching we sat down, ate our meal. I went outside I busted I couldn't hang I felt guilty as if I already screwed up the day anyway and had a cigarette. That was at 6 pm, I have not had one craving that brought me to that point since then. I am certain I could have fought through it , but I didn't I broke. I keep telling myself tomorrows a new day. But I am only focused on today, Theres times its minute by minute then I don't get a craving for awhile and its hour by hour. I am going baby steps, I hope to for no more slips ups and the power to say no. I told my husband today even though he smokes outside its clear temptation for me, its my decision to follow, to grab one to even light it . But he is on the journey too and although were not at the same point, hes gonna have to make the decision to put it down too. The funny part about all this , I was so disappointed in myself for the last 6 days, how horrible I had done, how I felt as though nothing was gonna work. Today ended that streak, I have no smokes in this house to light up, and neither does he.