I went for a walk about 4-5 hours ago (after having had NONE For one whole day, - at least tried to go for a walk because my stamina s far from back. I feel this in itself is important and as I am primarly a house-spouse who freelances when work lands on his desk, I thought it may be a good idea to get out a bit which I didn't used to do... and I got into a chat with a friendly neighbour fitness addict - he eats a great diet, is always supple and the only substance he abuses is the treadmill at the gym - sort of pissed off by his pooh-pooing, as an angry retort actualy I smoked two puffs before guiltily realising what an idiot I was being and Threw them away. I then set 15 minute timers on my stopwatch and tried to crawl from one episode to the next. It is now 5 hours since and I had the worst panic attack, about 4 hours ago, suddenly feeling heavy in the chest and the feeling that I would never be able to breathe ever again. Luckily we have a house guest who is a retired cardio thoracic surgeon and he kept saying nothing was wrong with me - finally I took his advice to go to my room (he came with me, sweet man) put on my sleep apnea bipap machine, and just stay for e0 minutes. It worked. All of us had dinner together, I stopped at one glass of wine (and no rice) and I was being very good, but RIGHT NOW, as I right the crave is back but I am able to deep breathe ( a bit ) I have popped a cardamom pod into my mouth and Inshallah this too should pass. I have an ethical question for every supporter on the forum, should I delete my quit data to reveal the relapse and start again at second zero? or can this horrible deviation be winked at? PLEASE HELP FOLKS