I wasn't sure what I was going to post today. After a 4-hour drive where I had nothing to do but think (because I'm not smoking anymore) I reflected back on my smoking history and it became very clear to me why I started and quit each time. So here it is.....I first started smoking when I was 14, yes, just a baby. I had older siblings who smoked so I wanted to be "cool" like them and, it was the 80's and everyone smoked. I smoked until I started dating my future husband when I was 16. I then stopped because he didn't like it and told me to quit, so I did. I was smoke free for about the next 8 years until his first "incident". I started smoking again because I knew he hated it and it was something I felt he had taken away from me (stupid, I know). I only smoked that time for about 6 months. We worked it out and for the next 5 years he had another "incident" . I smoked again for 6 months, we worked it out and I quit . 2 years went by  and we came full circle once again. I divorced him this time and started smoking, again, because I was free to be me and do what I wanted to do and he could not take it away from me again. That was 10 years ago. 2 months ago I decided it was time to quit because I wanted to.  So, where am I going with this you ask? I was just getting to that..... in the past, I never quit because I wanted to. It always felt like I was doing it for someone else (I know it's a stupid thought pattern considering smoking is deadly).  This time I quit because it was my decision and I wanted to and this is my accomplishment and I am very proud of myself and I did it. I realize I do have a long road ahead of me so when I  say I did it, I mean that with a lot of caution. It has only been 2 months :) I don't feel like I'll start up again. Life is going pretty good now but when the time comes (and it will) where the bottom drops, I will not look to smoking (I hope).