By dawnsie56301

This Time I Did It For Me

I wasn't sure what I was going to post today. After a 4-hour drive where I had nothing to do but think (because I'm not smoking anymore) I reflected back on my smoking history and it became very clear to me why I started and quit each time. So here it is.....I first started smoking when I was 14, yes, just a baby. I had older siblings who smoked so I wanted to be "cool" like them and, it was the 80's and everyone smoked. I smoked until I started dating my future husband when I was 16. I then stopped because he didn't like it and told me to quit, so I did. I was smoke free for about the next 8 years until his first "incident". I started smoking again because I knew he hated it and it was something I felt he had taken away from me (stupid, I know). I only smoked that time for about 6 months. We worked it out and for the next 5 years he had another "incident" . I smoked again for 6 months, we worked it out and I quit . 2 years went by  and we came full circle once again. I divorced him this time and started smoking, again, because I was free to be me and do what I wanted to do and he could not take it away from me again. That was 10 years ago. 2 months ago I decided it was time to quit because I wanted to.  So, where am I going with this you ask? I was just getting to that..... in the past, I never quit because I wanted to. It always felt like I was doing it for someone else (I know it's a stupid thought pattern considering smoking is deadly).  This time I quit because it was my decision and I wanted to and this is my accomplishment and I am very proud of myself and I did it. I realize I do have a long road ahead of me so when I  say I did it, I mean that with a lot of caution. It has only been 2 months :) I don't feel like I'll start up again. Life is going pretty good now but when the time comes (and it will) where the bottom drops, I will not look to smoking (I hope).
Hello...Wonderful post, You will do Great!!
Amazing story, thanks for sharing! I'm almost two months and when typical triggers happen (frustrations, boredom, anger, etc) I take that time to try to remember having a smoke won't fix it. One day at a time, scratch that, one minute at a time. N.O.P.E
Thanks for sharing :)
Great quote :)
Dawnsie...Great post and thanks for sharing...Yes we have been very stupid just to be cool....and part of the big world and all of us will never be able to forgive ourselves for the damage done to our body's. Stay strong and surely you will not look really becomes better and better...!!!