So here we go I have a lot to say in my journay entry for today is only 11 am. Last night I went to dinner with the fucking future in-laws I cant put it in any nicer of a way then that. Well we told them we were engaged. But it was all an act. As the night went on they took us grocery shopping something else they can hold over our heads. Well they made it appoint to pull my fiancé aside and make sure that I didn’t go anywhere with them today. Well I tried my best to ignore them last night. I did very wel except for when I got home I did nothing but cry and cry. I even had a couple seizures, which our usually brought on with me being massiviely upset. Anyway well today my fiancé left which she will be gone all day. SO im stuck inside with  nothing to do while they are having fun and eating out at places. It may sound like nothing to many of you. But it does me. I know that shell come home with a different attitude and she promised she would be textig me all day and ive barely gotten 3 texts from her since she left! If things continue this way I don’t see us walking down the aisle for the sake that I deserve ot be treated better. Im beyond done with trying to be nice to people who do nothing but put me down. I guess my effort to try to be civil is nothing to them. My fiancé seems to act the same. Way her demeanor changed drastically when they got into town.well anyway my weekend completely sucks. One of my friends might come over today and keep me company but haven’t heard anything for sure yet. Well I guess ill do my best to keep my depression at bay.  I hope everyone keeps there quits going great this weekend. And nothing else changes.  I hope that make it thru the weekened without liting up a cigarette. I hope I don’t finish this journal and go get a pack. Ive done good so far but I truly feel like im about to cave in. I really hate this addiction and really hate this weekend. I believe that no matter what I can not be happy with them around. Its just imppossbile. HERES TO ANOTHER DAY