By brendasbaby

The Healing Of My Mind Is Beginning To Happen.

Today is day 6.  One more day of this week left and I can finally say I made is 7 days without a cig, which is something that I thought I would never say. I’m going to the doctor today. And the first time in 11 years when I go in and they ask how much I smoke I can finally say. I don’t smoke.  Which is most likely every ex smokers dream to say to anyone not just his or her doctor. I spent most of yesterday writing and cleaning helps keep my hands and my mind busy. I got my new pots and pans and coffee pot. NO MORE ISNTANT COFFEE, HELL YES!!!! If anyone has ever had instant coffee they will understand how disgusting it is. I am also feeling my energy levels rise more and more each day. I do believe this journal writing is helping it lets me get out what-ever is bothering me, no matter what it is. I spend most mornings and evenings writing a journal entry even if I don’t post it on here. At least I get out of my system. Music also helps a lot. But, on the note that I’m going to the doctors. I have to take the bus there. Which means for the first time. I am going to be completely surrounded by smokers. It makes me nervous but I also need to embrace the challenge. It reminds me of the time I had to face being around someone who drank, while having to fight the urge to drink with them.  When I was drinking all the time, I could just vision myself turning into my grandfathers.  Both of my grandfathers were drunks. Granddad on my mom’s side.  He was a World War 2 veteran.  But when he came back from the war. He treated everyone horrible and did nothing but drink. My papaw on my dad’s side. He didn’t fight in any war but he drank all the time. The only picture of have of him and I together there is a beer in the picture. I just didn’t want to turn out like them. I wanted to be different. I didn’t want to be the alcoholic that was always disappointing my family. My papaw Eddie that’s all he did. He chose drinking over his kids. I only knew him for 8 years, But I think the most disappointing part was finding out the truth about him after he passed away. From people that knew him longer. Granddad Theodore I didn’t get to meet him. He passed away the year I was born. But my mom told me how mean he was after the war. Part of me is glad I didn’t have to go thru what my grandma Frances did. She was always a strong lady. She put up with his shit, when most women would of just left his ass. I have experience a lot of death in my short life. But I think it has made me a better person because of it. Well here is to day 6!!! Keep fighting and staying strong my fellow ex-smokers!!!
One last push to get through hell week! Stay strong!
AWESOME! The first week is the hardest!
Congrats! Cant wait to celebrate with you tomorrow
Thanks for that heartfelt post :) Stay strong. Congrats on nearly a week!
The first time you tell your doctor you dont smoke is so rewarding :) Congrats