By brendasbaby

The Upcoming Visit Of The Future In-Laws.

Today is day Five. I have finally almost made it thru “hell week.” I just hope next week is easier.  Yesterday I went and did laundry at the Laundromat. Which is always stressful.  My free Blu E-cig also came in the mail yesterday. I kind of like it.  I mean nothing is like smoking a cig but at least I will have some kind of replacement. I just don’t want to get addicted to the E-cig. I don’t want to lean on it like I did the cigarettes and alcohol.  I have put so much pressure on myself to quit. It unreal at this point. My future in-laws are visiting from New York in a few weeks. I just want to be quit and successful by the time they get here they look down on people anyway and the whole visit is going to be stressful anyway.  We haven’t gotten along in the almost two years ive been dating their daughter. I don’t for see that happening anytime soon. Her mother has never once acknowledged by name. It’s always “her”. Like what did I ever do to her, for her to hate this much?  This stuff right here is by far my greatest smoking trigger. I know the weekend they are here is going to be a constant struggle not to buy a pack of cigarettes and most likely chain-smoke them. The thought of their visit even stresses out my fiancé.  I also have a really big fear that she will try and get my fiancé to move back to New york with her. She has reassured me that, that would not happen. But the thought is constantly in back of my mind. Is this relationship going to end soon. I don’t want it to but could it happen. I want a cigarette so bad right now but I know that I cant and shouldn’t have one. But why am I constantly in fear of something and over thinking ever little thing in my life. I swear is gotten worse since I stop smoking. And the urge to drink again has gotten worse. I am excited about the positive things that are going to happen to my body now that I’m not hurting myself with the awful cigarettes. But the urges and the addiction is so strong and the habit of smoking has to be broken at this point it’s a hourly struggle so here we go here’s to day 5 make the best I can of it
Keep it up. Hell week is the hardest. Week two is heck week though - its still quite hard. Dont want to scare you but it is better to be prepared. You are doing great, just take it one day at a time.
Anxiety increases when you quit for a while. Nicotine is a horribly strong drug and the withdrawal effects do crazy things for our body for a few weeks. Totally normal, and very temporary. Stay strong
Its normal for it to be this difficult unfortunatly. Its temporary though. You may try and talk yourself out of quitting - but dont. That is the nicodemon talking. Stay strong and keep on quitting!
staying as strong as possible. I want to defeat this nicodemon