March 7, 2016 I am vowing to myself to say I quit. I quit robbing myself of good heath. I quit spending all my free money on these awful fifthy cigarettes. I will not robbed my future children of a mother and my future grandchildren of a grandma. I will be around to watch the love of my life brenda, see me grow old together and i will watch her do the same. I will know that every cigarette i don't smoke with be better for not only me my the ones i love and care about. I will not give into the addiction. No matter how many times, the nicodemon tries to get me to give in. Not even a puff will i do. I have equipped myself with the tools that i will need to complete this challenge and complete it successfully. I have candy, patches if needed.  I have also purchased Allen Carr Easy way to stop smoking. I an e-cig with very little nicotine in it which will be switching to 0 as soon as i can buy the carriages for me it. Without smoking i can start focusing on the things that matter in life. number 1 my heath number 2 my family and friends, my fur baby. I have to ask myself this question on a daily basis. Where will my family, friends and fur baby be if i continue to smoke myself to death? What will i leave them with? My answer right now is nothing, i can't leave them with nothing i want leave them with my lecacy that i have live life. i  have overcome many obstacles in my life. That no matter what life handed me I never gave up not even alittle. They can say to themselves that no matter how hard quitting smoking would be she never once gave up on trying that’s all I really wants to leave behind. So I know everyday and every mintute will be challenging. And I will have many many many many test ahead of me.  As it is the first day of not smoking, I have not been around a smoker, my first challenge is going into the world and running into people smoking and also seeing cigarettes for sale. And not walking into the store and buying a pack. That has always been my demon, giving in easily and no being able to fight it off. I know that I will have to overcome that but Im so scared that I cant, I know that I cant hide in this apartment forever but I know that I can do anything I set my mind too. That is all for todays journal. I am going to kick this niodemons ass!!!!!!