By inathinworld

Not Big Not Clever And Your Friends Are Rubbish

I had my first cigarette when I was sixteen, immediately after another first (but I won’t go into that!). I remember that it tasted horrible but that I didn’t care as I suddenly felt so cool and so grown up.  It was a Benson and Hedges gold cigarette that belonged to my, then. Boyfriend. After that night, my friends and I would buy a packet of 16 from the cigarette machine in a pub or nightclub and share them between the 4 of us – you could smoke in clubs on those days – and despite the holes burned in our dresses and the smell on our clothes, we loved it and danced every Saturday night until we went away to university. 
> I started smoking properly when I went to university.  I remember the first night, it was in my first year and I was 19.  My housemate‘s boyfriend had come to stay for the weekend and we went to a nightclub that charged £3 to get in and £1 for all of the drinks (it was 1998).  We were dancing to the cheesy nineties pop and having a great time, it reminded me of the clubbing days of my teens and I felt the need for a cigarette so I bought a packet from the vending machine.  Despite the protests of some of my housemates, I felt cool again.  Only my friends older boyfriend and I smoked and we were then the grown-ups!
> I was a happy smoker, I liked to smoke when I was out but as an adult, it was easy to smoke whenever I wanted and, although I didn’t smoke in the house, I quickly began to smoke 20 cigarettes a day and even enabled my housemate to start smoking.  We promised each other that we would quit as soon as we graduated, this, sadly, never happened for me. 
> I made my first serious quit attempt when I was Twenty-five and had moved to London.  I lived in a house of non-smokers and was feeling the pinch of smoking on my purse, if not yet on my health.  I stopped one night on my way home from work.  I had chosen to walk that morning so that I could afford to buy a packet of cigarettes and that had to be the final straw.  I used chocolate to quit and managed to stay off cigarettes for 6 months before returning thanks to alcohol and nights out.
> My second attempt was last year.  I had a chest infection that lasted 3 months and I smoked all of the way through.  The doctor told me that if I continued smoking and got COPD, this tightness of chest and shortness of breath would be my life.  This frightened me enough to stay stopped for five and a half months.  I failed due to a hen weekend in Spain, sun, wine and another smoker left me smoking again.
> This time I will succeed.  I am determined! I wish I could shake my 19 year old self, or in fact my 16 year old self, and tell her that smoking is not big, its not clever and your smoking, cool friends are rubbish!! 
i agree, i would love to be able to slap myself round the face when i took that first puff
Yes isn't it funny I still remember that first puff!! and it takes time for us to learn to smoke properly, what a joke to think we actually did that :) Nice post thanks for sharing
COPD is damn scary. Good job we are ex smokers now!
nothing like 90's pop! Thanks for sharing.
the first one tastes SO BAD! So bad that we think we could never be addicted to something so nasty.....