By inathinworld

Hello, I'm New Here... Long Post Alert!

I used to love smoking but I have come to realise just what impact my nicotine addiction is having on my health and the health of my family.  I cough and wheeze and splutter and get cold after cold and I'm terrified that this will turn into COPD. I also would like to be able to improve my fitness as we are planning to do the Welsh three peaks later in the year and I can't currently walk up a hill without coughing my guts up.  

The other reason that I'd like to quit is so that my partner and I can think about having a baby. I am not healthy enough at the moment and as time ticks by, I need to start thinking about taking the steps needed to make my body and life right for a child.  

I have smoked since I was 19 and have tried to give up three times over the years but haven't managed  to go more than 6 months without picking the habit straight back up again. The end of it has to come though. I have to stop and this time it has to be for good.

What I have to remember is that smoking is an addiction and it solves nothing. It just fills up my time and empties out my purse. It is no friend of mine. I always thought I was cool when I was young. I didn't care, I wanted to be different, quirky and different. I loved grunge and punk and had piercings and tattoos. Smoking was just part of the deal. A prop and part of the image and lifestyle. If I could get hold of my 19 year old self, I would sake her. My life and health is worth more than a teenage rebellion. 

I love my life and I value my health and am lucky that nothing has gone too far wrong so far but I think that I am just a ticking time bomb. I'm overweight and have smoked for 17 years... I need to get back to a healthy state before I get too old to make a long term impact and before I am not able to conceive, carry and care for the child that we want so very much. 

Sorry for the long post. I wish you all luck as I love these groups and the support they offer. 
Dont apologise for the long post! loved reading it. i can tell it was from the heart.
this does get easier. you can do this. your body is fighting a fight for you right now. Stay strong
welcome! what an awesome first post!
one day at a time you will beat this. its not just rubbish they put on the box - smoking really does make it much harder to conceive - and then you have to quit anyway. You are doing yourself and your partner lots of favours by quitting now. Stay strong and please post more like this - it was a beautiful read :)
thanks all... I'm so happy to be here and to share it with you all x