By mom2arielle

Yesterday Was One Tough Day

Well day 3 is officially over and I am still smoke free!!! Which is really amazing to me. As I wrote yesterday the whole day started out bad I had anxiety out the wahhhhzooo yesterday it was one of the worst days as far as anxiety goes that I have had in an awhile. And the whole time my mind kept telling me “you know this anxiety will go away if you smoke” I just told it no it will not it will just get worse then my mind would go you don’t know until you try it. I just laughed at it and said nah I’m good I’ll just take my chances with the anxiety. So I veg out on the couch and watch TV until it is time to go to work. Going to work went without incident. Got to work and was at work for 45 minutes and my husband texts me “where is BG (BG stands for Baby Girl” BG is one of my daughters nick names) so I call home it seems my daughter did not get off the bus and we don’t know where she is. She is going to be 12 in March by the way. So I called her best friend’s mother since that is where she is supposed to go today after school and she has not seen her. I asked her to ask her daughter if she knew where she was. Can you imagine the anxiety at this point in time yeah really really bad. So her friend said she had to stay after school for school musical practice. Huge sigh of relief but she did have huge talking to about the importance of calling and letting us know that she is having to stay after school. So during that frightful experience my mind kept thinking this is really scary and stressful you def. need a cig. To help you get through it of course I was at work and did not have cigs and no way to go get some so that was a plus. And of course when I found out where my daughter was and that she was ok my mind was like there that is such a relief you should have a cig since you feel so much relief. I was still at work with no way to go get some. Made it through the rest of work even though they were smoking in the bar and the smell kept making its way into the kitchen I stood strong and determined. So then I get in my car and go home. On the way home I heard a huge pop and my car started handling really rough. I thought to myself great it is 10:30 at night and now I have a blown tire. I wrestle the car into the next parking lot which was a nursing home. I get out cause as a mechanics daughter I better know how to change a tire or my dad would kill me. I go to the front of my car and look to see what tire it is and my front driver side tire is sideways. Not good!!! I look behind the tire to see what happened and it was the upper control arm had snapped off my car. The upper control arm is the part that keeps your tire in an upright position. Tried calling my husband and my phone locked up. Restarted the phone and it decided that it was going to take 15 minutes after I dialed the number to finally go through. The whole time I was thinking that I was going to have to go up the road to the hospital around the hospital and into the ER to call my husband. Finally he answered and came to rescue me. I should mention here that right up from the nursing home is the hospital and right up from the hospital is a gas station. The whole time that I was waiting for my husband I was having an internal battle about going to the store and getting cigs I mean after all after the day I had I defiantly deserved them. But I won that battle and did not smoke when we were riding home I just started laughing and my husband said what. I told him I just have to laugh to keep from crying.
wow what a day. hope your feeling a bit better now
that sounds pretty stressful. good job on not smoking
thanks for sharing - i bet it felt better to get that off your chest. you certainly won that battle. keep it up
close call, another test passed!