So hell week is officially over and I am onto heck week. I cant believe that in just one week I would have smoked over 200 cigs. That is just crazy. I do feel better breathing wise but my head feels like it is cloudy. I forget a lot of stuff too. I hope this is just temporary. I did find the energy to get off of the couch today and cleaned my kitchen, bathroom, and diningroom and wash a load of laundry but that was about it. I do not want to use all of my energy up before I have to go to work. I work the next 5 nights but thankfully no big parties (that I am aware of they do spring them on me from time to time) so that means that I will have limited reason to go to the bar. Other than getting my customers drinks from there I should not have to go at all. Of course you can still smell it when you walk into the kitchen but since we have a buffet tonight maybe I wont have to go into the kitchen as much either other than to take the dirty dishes back because the smoke smell still makes me crave really bad. I will of course bring my peppermint gum and mints (because I am out of candy canes.) and will have ice chips while I am there. I got a short nap in today too so I hope it is sufficient for the whole night but I don’t know I am tired again already. Me and caffeine so not get alone so well because of my anxiety disorder so I will just have to cope with being tired. I am also hoping that I will be busy tonight not just because I make more money that way but because I have less time to think about smoking. Still one of the hardest times for me as far as cravings go is when I get into my car after work. It is like my brain is like ok you worked really hard tonight so why not celebrate your hard work with a cig. You know you want one it will help you relax so you can go to bed when you get home. Of course I tell my brain no we do not smoke anymore so you are just going to have to figure something else out to relax before you get home usually I just turn on the radio and sing as loud as I can.