By mom2arielle

Day 5

Uggg I am so sick today have some kind of stomach virus. Mostly just sleepy now though so hopefully it was just a 24 hour bug I hope. Been very tired I am off for the next 2 days so I plan to catch up on all my missed sleep from the weekend. Still not smoking I does seem like it is getting some easier as the days pass but still consume most of my thoughts during the day. Some moments it seems like I have to use every ounce of my being to tell myself no you are not having any cigs I don’t care how much you whine and beg and cry. I just treat my cravings like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum because if my child threw a temper tantrum then are definenatly not getting what they want so why would I give my addiction what it wants just because it is throwing a temper tantrum. The smell of cigs still make me crave like crazy can’t wait for the time to come when they just smell nasty and make me ill or whatever. I did come back off of the medication that the dr. gave me just because I don’t really like taking medicine that messes with the chemicals in my brain but I don’t feel as good and happy as I did when I was taking them so I think at least for the time being with the quitting smoking and added depression from that (I got depressed last time I quit too) I will start them back at least for a few months.  I have not had a chance to work with the cook that said he was going to quit with me yet to see if he did and how he was doing. The funny part is I did not even really talk to him about his smoking habit I just told him that I was quitting and I was starting to feel better with my anxiety and breathing and he decided he wanted to quit too so I guess I am leading by example. On my husband’s side of the family nobody smokes my husband quit years ago and my FIL quit about 2 years ago so I was the only smoker left and felt like a leper when I had to go out and smoke. On my side of the family everyone but my dad smokes so hopefully I can be a positive influence there too.