By mom2arielle

Day 6

Day6 is over and by far this has been the hardest day for me. I am unsure if it is the process of quitting or the new medication but it has taken everything I had not to go to the store and buy a pack. Even my trusty candy canes did not offer me any relieve from the massive amounts and intensity of the cravings. As it was I took a 2 hour nap and will probably call it an early night as well. I know my medicine makes me feel weird and my dr. says that my symptoms are normal and should level out in about a week. I don’t see much difference in my GAD yet other that what had already improved by not smoking but he said that could take up to 3 weeks. This is like the 500th time I have attempted to quit smoking and I don’t want to go back to square one again but today has been a challenge. The longest I have ever been quit was 2 months and something very tragic happened to my family and I said I really want a cig right now although I know my mind was really just trying to talk me into having one and I knew that smoking would not make my situation any better. And the Dr. told me well maybe you should smoke for now because of everything you have gone through. Maybe he was just trying to get job security or something I don’t really know but I did bum a cig and I did smoke and later that evening I bought a pack and had been smoking a pack and half a day until 6 days ago. I still remember how good I felt for those 2 months and how awful I felt after I smoke the first one. I don’t really know why I smoked anymore after that it really was that bad tasting but I did it anyway. And that is why I do not want to go back to smoking this time. I will fight these craving kicking and screaming and sleeping if I have to. I know most of my posts have some humor in them and I am sorry that this one really does not but honestly I am just not feeling it today with all the cravings that I have had. But I will be strong and I will win and I will survive. One minute at a time today. Heres hoping that tomarrow is better.