By 420dragonfly

Breaking The Cycle

I’m going to guess I’m not the only one out there raised by parents who smoked.  I’m going to guess I’m not the only parent who smoked around their kids.  I’m going to guess I’m not the only parent whose child became a smoker.  I’m going to guess I’m not the only grandparent who hopes, wishes, and prays their grandchild never becomes a smoker.  
I can remember being a young girl in the late 60s-early 70s, let’s just say those elementary school years.  My parents were well into their 30s when they had me, I had three siblings, 11, 13, and 14 years older than me, not your typical family of the time.  My parents smoked, my siblings smoked.  I can remember begging my parents and siblings to stop smoking.  I can remember them getting upset with me when I’d cough and wave the smoke away from me when I was with them.  I don’t remember ever being told not to smoke.  I had my first cigarette before my 13th birthday.  Not only was I a part of the “cool” crowd at school now, I had something in common with my siblings!  I can remember my parents telling me to smoke in the house not on the street, because that would look “cheap”.  
Mom and I became best friends over the years and spent many hours playing cards & smoking, shopping & smoking, cooking & smoking, laughing & smoking, crying & smoking, almost right up until the day she died.
When I got pregnant with my son, I knew I should quit, but honestly no one really hounded me about it.  Plenty of women I worked with smoked while they were pregnant.  My doctor told me to try to cut back.  There really wasn’t the awareness then or much pressure, so I smoked.
I smoked around my son throughout his childhood.  He begged his father & I to quit.  He hated to be driven to school because everyone complained about how he smelled of smoke.  I begged him to never pick up this smoking habit because it was so hard to give up.  I was crushed when he started smoking at 18.  He and I were (and still are) great friends.  We spent many hours playing cards & smoking, cooking & smoking, partying & smoking, playing video games & smoking.  
My son is a father now.  My son has never smoked around his son.  During their visit this past summer, he and I were outside having a smoke and I told him we needed to give these damn cigarettes up.  I told him at 55 years old I’ve made my share of mistakes, learned many lessons, and have few true regrets, except one…the day I lit that first cigarette.  
I don’t know if that conversation had any influence, but my son quit smoking shortly after that and now it’s my turn.  I wasn’t able to break the cycle for my son, but so grateful he’s breaking it for my grandson, at least that’s what this grandma hopes, wishes, and prays for.

One Love
did you quit too??..I'm praying you did...we grew up about the same era...the 60's and 70's..I smoked for 40 years and just quit 3 months ago. You can do it! :-) :-)
I'm on day 22, probably could've been a little clearer in that last paragraph.:). 40+ years and several attempts, this one has a different vibe to it. I'm using the patch (couldn't cut cold turkey), but was able to start on step 2 after 3 weeks of prepping. Going to try stepping down to 7mg tomorrow.
you and your son have given your grandson many years of extra healthier life because of your actions. congratulations :)
Thanks for sharing such an emotional story :)
wow before 13? thats a young age. congrats on your progess and thanks for the story :)
Inspired dragonfly!, inspired!!
Such a honest post about a sensitive subject. thank you so much. stay strong