I feel absolutely horrible. I have been smoke free for 2 months and 15 days. I got a phone call from the hospital and my uncle who is just like a dad to me and stepped up as a grand dad to my son after my dad who was  best friend passed away. Is in and I have  to make the decision to let him pass with dignity by removing all support. I walked away after I spoke to all the doctors in a fog and when I stepped out there was someone  smoking and I asked for a smoke. I took a huge drag from it and then threw up.  I didn't get to finish it due to it was gross and I puked. But I feel like a failure. How do I face my son who is 13 with this news and the fact that I smoked makes it bad. He has been my biggest support along with my husband but letting him and myself down is the worse. I feel like a failure. I know I won't smoke or attempt it again cause well I can't handle (A) feeling like this and (B) I know I'll puke again. I am sorry all for all this ranting I just need to vent this out. All I ask is for prayers to get through this and if you don't pray I respect that but positive thought toward my way will be greatly appreciated. <3.