By jenny

Failure

I feel absolutely horrible. I have been smoke free for 2 months and 15 days. I got a phone call from the hospital and my uncle who is just like a dad to me and stepped up as a grand dad to my son after my dad who was  best friend passed away. Is in and I have  to make the decision to let him pass with dignity by removing all support. I walked away after I spoke to all the doctors in a fog and when I stepped out there was someone  smoking and I asked for a smoke. I took a huge drag from it and then threw up.  I didn't get to finish it due to it was gross and I puked. But I feel like a failure. How do I face my son who is 13 with this news and the fact that I smoked makes it bad. He has been my biggest support along with my husband but letting him and myself down is the worse. I feel like a failure. I know I won't smoke or attempt it again cause well I can't handle (A) feeling like this and (B) I know I'll puke again. I am sorry all for all this ranting I just need to vent this out. All I ask is for prayers to get through this and if you don't pray I respect that but positive thought toward my way will be greatly appreciated. <3.
Jenny...My prayers are with you on this one and on the rest of your journey. wouldn't it be nice if we puked our lungs out on our first cigarette many moons ago. you are no failure and just continue on your journey ....Strongs !!
Stay strong jenny, thinking of you.
Its one slip up at a terrbile time in your life. You sound like you are not going to do it again. So i don't think you need to tell your son. Atleast not right now. Stay strong you and your family are in my prayers.
Jenny thank you for sharing what must be a horrificly difficult time for you. My prayers are with you
Don't be so hard on yourself, that is some very sad news to have to take in, and sometimes we make mistakes. The good news is you are going to continue to be smoke free. That doesn't sound like a failure to me, just a hiccup.
My thoughts are with you
My prayers are with you and your family. I think the fact that you got sick indicates that you accomplished much of your goals. A minor glitch at a very stressful time is understandable.
Thanks for sharing, don't be so hard on yourself, positive thought to you and your family xx
I am very sorry for the decision you have to make and will keep you in my prayers. Don
Don't beat yourself up over the one puff. You now know what it feels like and you now know you will never go back. I don't look at it as a failure or a slip up it was a learning experience
Sending you prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Sending prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻