By hercu

Two Months Of Battle Won…..But The War……….???

I have lived almost two amazing months smoke free after a 38 year addiction. It is such an interesting journey of ups and downs, discovery and lost, win and lose.
This is a journey of mind over matter and due to the fact that I have scarred my brain with chemicals for such a long period it was so much more of a challenge that I actually enjoyed the battle.  Ooops…. easy for me to say now, but whilst in it, it was a constant flood of emotions in six phases:
(1) Denial: - “Chemical dependency upon smoking nicotine is one of the most intense, repetitive and dependable relationships you've likely ever known.” I for one, never believed this and thought that I am in control.
(2) Anger: “It has infected almost every aspect of your life and thinking.” This is stage where I blamed myself for allowing myself to become so dependent on nicotine.
 (3) Bargaining: Only one puff won’t do any harm or maybe I should have just cut down and not smoke 40 a day. This is the stage where the Nicodemon really worked my mind.
 (4) Depression: “Be prepared to experience a normal sense of emotional loss.” I mourned the loss of my ciggy friend. I mean it was with me for 38 years and gone now……!!
 (5) Acceptance: Yes, I am a nicotine junky, a drug addict. I think this was my turning point where I decided to attack this addiction rather than defend the fact that I am addicted.
 (6) Complacency: The glorious moment where you see the light at the end of the tunnel and know there is life after quitting. That you have been granted a new chance in life and might not grow old pulling an oxygen tank with you wherever you go. This is where I felt that I really got rid of the entrapment I have been in for so many years.
This is the awesome time of rediscovering the things we denied and deprived ourselves whilst addicted. Definitely for us “older” men with better blood flow and hart rate the advantages starts to show.
The battles is won and I am jubilant and raised my flag on “no smoking hill” ……..But deep in my mind I know this War is far from over and that I should be on a constant alert for the rest of my smoke free life……..!!!
Wow. Thanx for sharing
Really, really appreciate the post. Tomorrow I plan to try my very first 'practice quit' in more than twenty years. It really helps to know what to expect. I've really found your posts informative and inspiring. Keep it up :)
Incredible post hercu. You are really very inspirational with your writing style.
Very good post hercu. I can't imagine quitza without you - thank you!
Great post hercu, you are such a inspiration to many of us here
"Definitely for us “older” men with better blood flow and hart rate the advantages starts to show." - I laughed, very true!
I dont know what i would do without your posts and comments hercu, thank you! Stay strong hun.
Wow awesome post hercu! Thank you so much!